Thursday, 6 July 2017

I am Nikita.

I am Nikita.
I am strong, beautiful and happy... that's how it usually goes right... but this isn't how mine goes.

I am Nikita, I suffer from severe anxiety and self esteem issues. I may appear confident and fine at times but most of the times I am uncomfortable and very shy on the inside.
My anxiety has developed from the self esteem issues and my self esteem issues are from myself being really self conscious of my body.
Yes, I can do something about it but it's not as easy as said done... but wait, it is easy isn't it?
There is so many people telling you different things and there is so many quotes or sayings of this is easy, if you put your mind to it, if you think positive etc etc.
Each and every single person deals with things differently, each and every single person will cope in a different way, each and every single person will experience things differently... we are not identically the same when it comes to our personality and traits.

What does my anxiety do to me?
My anxiety will make me doubt myself, my anxiety will make me flustered, my anxiety will make me feel uncomfortable, my anxiety will make me quiet, my anxiety will make me purposely miss things or be late.
Those who suffer from anxiety will experience anxiety in different ways and for different things. In mine its due to my body image issues.
Ever since I was in primary school I have been a 'bigger' child. Both primary school and high school will eat you alive, it's the worst place to stir up your self confidence. Nothing can be done except for try to educate the children as young as possible to either look after their health or to be kind to everyone of any shape, age, gender, religion etc.
I was the target of many comments made about my body shape and those lists that would go around in high school when the boys would number in order of which girls they would like from first to last would have me close to the bottom. It plays at you something shocking.
I think to myself now why has it been years since then and you haven't changed? but I have changed so everyone keeps telling me. I get told regularly how amazing I'm looking and how well I have done but I don't see it.. I look at myself in the mirror and look at myself in disgust most of the time.
If you were a fly on the wall you would see me pulling at my fat and even at times when I'm really feeling really down on myself you would even see me punching or hitting at my stomach.

For about 10 years now I have been trying to control my weight and be a better me externally. Prior to having Niah I got serious for awhile and focused on myself and feeling better. During pregnancy I stacked a whooping 30kgs+ on, I didn't know better and stopped exercising and took advantage of 'eating for two' and then it took me another 6 months to get back into the swing of things. Having a child certainly does make things a little more challenging as you need to make sure you have a good routine and are prepared, you will need to be more accountable. It has taken me 3 years to get to here and where I am now... I'm down 50kgs and at the lightest weight I've ever been. I don't ever recall being in the 80's even when I was a teenager. The way I feel body wise isn't like where I am at weight wise. I still feel huge and down on myself. I know that I am the only one who can change this.

I am the one responsible for what happens to myself. I am the holder of what happens with my body. I am an emotional eater and that really sucks. If I'm feeling sad I want to just stuff my face with food. I am also really bad with organisation so I will be out somewhere and either not eat or will have to visit a takeaway place and most of the time I'm too lazy to go in somewhere so I'll opt for drive thru.

I look at the photo above of myself and I just seen pain, the huge amount of pain I have been enduring and putting upon myself more recently in the last year. I've had a really tough year and I'm surprised with how I have managed to get up some days and to still be working full time. I take on a lot and I do a lot but that's just how I role, I need to be kept busy as my mind with myself on free time is not a healthy area. I am not suicidal at all as my daughter means the world to me and I wouldn't ever leave her but it leaves me in an unhealthy area where I over analysis and over think.

This isn't a write up for sympathy, this isn't a write up to be gentle with me... this is a realist piece that I'm sure I'm not the only one in a boat like this.
Life is cruel and unkind but I'm fighting, I won't give in nor give up. I will get better and want to get better and I'm hoping that the fire within me grows enough to give me the strength I need to retrain and refocus my mind.

Sunday, 1 January 2017

Speedo Kids Swimwear Review

Sunshine, hot weather, sand, beach, swimming, tanning, BBQs and family time is calling at our doorstep as we move into the beloved summer days. 

With summer days comes the essentials and having the correct bathing clothes are key. 
Speedo fall nothing short of being right on point. 
For us quality is always most important, you want to know that when you pay for something you are getting quality to last its time. 

When in the water there is nothing worse than having swimwear that sags and ways you down, something that we noticed with the Speedo range was that they stayed tight to the elasticity areas without any saggy parts and needing a ring out to get rid of excess water. 
When you feel the material of the Speedo you notice difference, their durable tough but also soft and comfortable on the skin. 
You know how on some written print clothing pieces when you stretch them you can straight away see the cracking of the letters - well I pulled and pulled at the Speedo top and nothing moved, no cracking what so ever. 

As well as the one piece bather suit Niah was also gifted the short sleeve rash top in which came down to the elbows and half way up her neck covering a good amount of skin from the rays. 
The patterns and styles that Speedo comes in for toddlers are cute and stylish with light colours for the kids and cursive cute text to follow. After getting the cute bathers from Speedo we went and checked out the other patterns and styles they had online, that was dangerous as they have soooo many cute colours, styles and patterns to choose from for the little ones and we ended up starting a list of what to get next.

You know how bathers can be all distorted and smelly after visiting the local pools? Well generally we try not to visit them because of the chlorine stench but the chlorine held up really well and didn’t affect the colors or written print at all on the Speedos.

Post swim use they were super easy to clean through a machine wash; stripping them of the chlorine smell and then they dried super-fast that you could almost go again within an hour of line dry time. 

Something that really sold me on the Speedos was that they put an extra strip of material over the zipper part of the material so that the kids aren't having the bare rough zipper rub up on their skin or catching in skin and snagging them. It's really the little things that win you over and in this moment, Speedo definitely has done that. 

I didn't see the big deal about Speedo as a brand before testing them out with Babyology and I can't thank them enough for introducing me to the brand because I don't think I could look elsewhere for quality to compare now. 
We couldn’t compare these to anything higher as Speedo definitely was the highest for quality, comfort and design.

Speedo’s just work and fall nothing short of what they say they will do.

Read more of the review over at the Babyology website.

Disclosure: This post has been made in collaboration with Babyology and Speedo Australia. I received the above pictured Speedo bathers as above mentioned in exchange for its promotion here. I received no payment for this review and all opinions expressed in this post are entirely my own.

Monday, 28 November 2016

Santa's Break-Down Under + GIVEAWAY

Christmas is a special time for sharing moments with family, friends and those nearest and dearest.
Trucked Up Entertainment are hosting a special Christmas circus: Santa's Break-Down Under in Melbourne where you will see Christmas in a complete new way through a thrilling family circus show with acrobats, aerialists, a crane truck and blast of fire and ice.

Santa will be there in his cork-string hat and a pair of things getting into the down under Aussie theme.

Santa's Break-Down Under will be showing at Coburg Velodrome.
Friday to Sunday 9th - 11th and 16th-18th of December, 2016.
Doors will open from 5pm for a show at 6pm-8pm.

Ticket prices:
Family pass (2 adults + 2 children) $100
Adult $35
Child $25 (3-12 years)

NJT Blogger has teamed up with Trucked Up Entertainment to giveaway a family pass valued at $100 to a lucky reader to head out to a show of their choosing to see Santa's Break-Down Under for themselves. 

Giveaway ends: Monday 5th December, 2016 at midnight. 
Winner drawn: Tuesday 6th December, 2016. 
Winner will be contacted via email and have 24hrs to contact back otherwise redraw will occur.

Disclosure: This post has been made in collaboration with Trucked Up Entertainment. I was invited along to the above mentioned event and provided with giveaway pass to run through the blog. I received no payment for this review and all opinions expressed in this post are entirely my own.

Friday, 4 November 2016

Santa's Magical Kingdom Preview + GIVEAWAY

November has arrived so we can move past the Spring Carnival and jump straight into Christmas chatter right? I can't believe we are at another year end and the jolly man himself Santa will be visiting us again, it just feels like last week I was up until the early am's putting together Niah's Christmas presents.

Recently we headed out to a morning tea preview for Santa's Magical Kingdom with the Snow Queen who read stories about Christmas and filled us in on all the magic that was to be happening shortly.
Niah was able to get into the festive spirit by doing Christmas crafting activities and share some morning tea with the other children in attendance.

Santa's Magical Kingdom is an annual event held and been running for the past 4 years successfully, where the beloved Silvers Circus put on their Christmas cheer and make Christmas special with their Circus.
Each year I have attended I have never been dissapointed, the atmosphere and the time shared celebrating the near coming occassion makes it an enjoyable time.

There is always many, many things for the family to take part in when it comes to Santa's Magical Kingdom, which include:

•   A magical Christmas walk-through wonderland
•   Snowland and meet the Snow Queen
•   A free gift, when you meet Santa
•   A brand new International Christmas  Show Spectacular
•   Roving Christmas characters
•   Christmas Craft Village where you can make your own Christmas tree decoration 
•   Gingerbread Land, where you can decorate your own gingerbread man
•   Interactive Letter Writing area and Storytelling area with Mrs Claus
•   Amusement Rides & Games, including Santa’s Sleigh Ride, the Giant Ferris Wheel, one of
the Largest Super Slide’s in the country, The Elves Magical Train Ride and more. 
•   There’s so much  fun for the whole family

This year you can join in on something new by helping to celebrate Rudolph's Birthday!
Rudolph will be celebrating his birthday at Santa’s Magical Kingdom.
Rudolph will be joined by Mrs Claus, the Snow Queen, as well as Trolls: Poppy and Branch to celebrate his birthday. Every child will receive a special gift.
All activities are inclusive with your Santa’s Magical Kingdom Ticket.
Rudolph’s Birthday will be celebrated on specific dates during the season, please check the website for dates.

Santa's Magical Kingdom is running from 18th November until 23rd December.
Tickets are available to purchase now OR you can enter my GIVEAWAY and win yourself a family pass!!

Santa's Magical Kingdom have kindly gifted one lucky reader a family pass valued at $140.
Session up for grabs:
Friday 25th November at 6pm in Melbourne. 
To enter to win, please fill in the form below. 

 Giveaway ends: Saturday 19th November at midnight.
Winners will be drawn: Monday 21st November, 2016.
Winner will have 24hrs to contact back otherwise redraw will occur.

Saturday, 29 October 2016

LUSH Halloween Collection 2016

I really love Halloween but it's just a shame we don't make as big as an event of it over in Australia as they do overseas. One of the bucket list items is to be overseas in America during the time of Halloween so I can see just how they do it.

Niah also adores Halloween and says it really cutely 'Hallowin' that just melts my heart. Halloween is becoming bigger now in Aus now thankfully and they even make celebration decorations at Niah's daycare and are having a dress up day on Monday in which Niah tells me she will be a 'witch'.
Last year she went as Pinocchio which was really adorable.

One of the ways we get into the Halloween spirit is by LUSH cosmetics with their special occasion releases, in which one of them is for the month of October.
Each year they will bring back some favs but also get creative and add in some newbie limited edition items to keep us on our toes.

LUSH Cosmetics kindly gifted us with some of the 2016 range which is featured below.

Monsters' Ball
This reminds me a bit of Monsters Inc - a super pink, purple and blue ball with a single eye.
A scent of neroli oils and lime to put some gorgeous color along with relaxing aromas into bath time.

Lord of Misrule Ball
A standout spicy herbal scent that gets you right on the nose with that mix. This one is a favourite of many LUSH lovers which comes out at Christmas time also.

Lord of Misrule Shower Cream
The same scent in what we see come out each year for Christmas in it's luscious dark green cream that leaves you smelly as gorgeous as Christmas can be.

Sparkly Pumpkin
A glitter filled bubble bath is what you will gain from this pumpkin.  Lightly scented with orange, blackcurrant and limes this one is a must have this Halloween.

Magic Wand
A new large round soap that has sweet fruity scents of tangerine and orange oils.
Colours of black and orange to fit the Halloween profile perfectly.

Goth Fairy
A shimmer bar that rubs over your skin providing nourishment as well as the fairy leaving behind shimmer and sparkles on your skin. This is a favourite this year for Niah as she loves fairies and of course what 3 year old doesn't like sparkles?

A more Christmas feeling to this soap with the scents of roasted chestnuts. The colours of this soap is what gets me the perfect yellow, orange and red to make a real fire icon look to it.

Disclosure: This post has been made in collaboration with LUSH. I received the above pictured items with no expectation for its promotion here. I received no payment for this review and all opinions expressed in this post are entirely my own.
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